Artic Swirls

Are you aware of what an Artic Swirl is? It is also known as a flurry. They used to be available at McDonalds, but I'm not sure if they still are. At the Perrysville Dairy they are known as Tornados? Sometimes people even call them blizzards.

Artic Swirls are made in one size, and one size only. They come in a standard white cup. Generally Artic Swirls are made with vanilla icecream but can be made with Chocolate or Twist, or even our Flavor of the day if doing so is wished. You can get several different kinds of candies in our Artic Swirls: M&M's, Oreo Cookie, Peanut butter cup, Reeces Peices, and Butterfinger. Anyways to make one you first grab a white cup, and then you take a metal or plastic cup guard thing and attach it to the top of the cup. Next, you fill the cup with the assigned icecream about 1/3 of the cup. Once you have filled the cup 1/3 with icecream you take 2 spoonfulls of the assigned candy and you place it in the cup. After this you take the cup to the artic swirl machine. Once you have a good hold on both the cup and the guard you turn on the machine and mix up the icecream. Once candy is thoroughly mixed you pound down the icecream and go fill the cup the rest of the way up. After filling the cup with more icecream you put in one more spoonfull of candy. Once done, you mix the icecream again with the artic swirl machine. After you have thoroughly mixed the icecream you take a spoon and scrape the icecream from the guard and then stick the spoon in the cup. There, you have made a delicious artic swirl.

Don't tell me, "Why the heck did you tell us all of this craaap??" I told you all of that crap because I work at a dairy and all people ever friggin' want are damned artic swirls. If you go up and read that again you'll say it probably took you a couple minutes to read. THINK OF HOW LONG IT TAKES TO ACTUALLY MAKE THE EVIL LITTLE THING! Yes, it is ridiculously annoying. Just think, "I would like 3 artic swirls, one peanut butter cup, one reeces pieces, and one butterfinger" Yes, evil lady, I shall make your artic swirls, but with much spite in my heart. Oh, and don't forget the dreaded softball teams with their annoying, loud, rude, non-tipping girls. The softball team in which everbody wants an artic swirl or a friggin' float (takes a while also). Now, whatever happened to the coach buying the team a good ole' icecream cone? Cones, I can deal with. 50 friggin' artic swirls, I can NOT. When I was in t-ball you didn't see my coach saying "Get whatever you want". Noooooo, you had to get a friggin' small icecream cone. Grr... I had my first artic swirl when I came to work at the dairy.

Anyways, apart from artic swirls being ridiculous to make, they are very expensive. WHY DO YOU BUY THESE THINGS? Artic swirls are a whopping 2.75. That is a lot. I mean come on, that is half of what I get for an hour! No, that is OVER half of what I get for an hour. This comes to show you I don't get paid enough. If we can sell an artic swirl for 2.75 and we sell about 50 a day. I SHOULD GET PAID MORE!!! Also, apart from the effing slushy machine that never works, artic swirls make the most mess.. Candy literally gets everywhere. When I sweep, I only sweep up candy from artic swirls.

The only good thing I can say about artic swirls is, boy are they really good. Man, I love artic swirls. I don't mind making a good artic swirl every once in a while, please don't get me wrong. I just don't like having to make about 10 of them in a row, or even more than 1 at a time. One at a time I can handly, 3 at a time.. NO WAY. 2, possibly.. More than 3? You've got to be out of your friggin' fat mind you fatty! I see sooo many obese people, just people that wouldn't be allowed onto some rollercoaster rides because they are just too big and wouldn't fit in the seat, getting artic swirls. Candy AND Icecream, are you out of your mind? Fat people get right on that, people. Oh, and I'm very very very very very sorry if I have offended anybody. I realize that everybody in the world isn't as small as me, but seriously people. I'm talking people that need special doorways fit for them getting artic friggin' swirls.

Anyways, if you are wondering why I made this delightfull post. It is because I worked today and we had a crapload of artic swirls, most of which I had to make. WEEEEEE. So yes, I love my job. Moral of this post? Laura, go get another friggin' job!