Wow!

This is definetely the longest break I've taken in my blogging history, ever!! Lets just say I haven't had much to talk about lately. More or less (I've been balling up my complaints and I've just now given up). School has started and it's school. You all know the story. "It sucks, classes, homework, etc" So I don't think I'm going to bore you with that kinda crap...

So, what is there to talk about? Uhm, I've been pretty depressed lately. For "no good reason" at all. I'll go through friggin' mood swings, no joke. Oh, and I'm not pregnant. Only sex makes you pregnant, and I haven't had any sex, I promise. So there are a few things I think that have lead to my depression, none of which seem to be good reasons (I guess):

1. My boyfriend just left for college recently, and I feel like he hates me. Depression worthy? Maybe not, but I say so..
2. I don't get enough sleep. I have not gotten more than 6 hours of sleep on a weeknight for about a year straight now. Am I an insomniac? Who knows. I just know that I need some more sleep. I even take allergy medicine to make me drowsy..
3. I don't know if this one is because of my depression or vica verca.. but I just never eat. The lunches suck because I have 4th lunch and virtually all of the good stuff is gone by the time I get there. No joke, I never had to deal with it before because I've always been 1st/2nd lunch.. but it sucks. At home, there is just nothing to eat without my mommy cooking for me, and with me being so lazy. I'm not anorexic, I swear. I just, I'm just very very lazy.
4. I have a license now, I was so darn excited and I still haven't gotten to drive to school yet. It'd be so nice not having to ask for a ride, but yeah... I'll live..
5. Either I'm very ugly or very very ugly or something because nobody's going to ask me to Homecomming. Seriously at least, I may get those kids just joking around.. or some girls just trying to make me feel better. Other than that, no serious question poppers. I realize I have a boyfriend, but can't they just ask me as a friend, or ask me at all? Also, don't even kid to yourself or lie to me by saying, "If you were single they'd ask you.." Because they wouldn't, I was single last year.. and did I get asked? Never...
6. Soccer only takes up a few hours of my life a day. The other hours I have to deal with the soul-numbing pain of being alive. During soccer I am able to take out my stress on the soccer ball, and sometimes girls from the other team. The rest of the time I have nothing and nobody to vent to. "What about your friends?" you say? Well, I don't have any to talk to, and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. I'm not saying I don't have friends, I'm just saying I have none to just talk to.

So, I think 6 reasons is good enough for me to reason my depression. So at the moment my boyfriend is out on a walk, and he couldn't talk to me while on his walk. Yeah, so basically he'll get back and talk to me not while he isn't really busy, but when he's on the computer talking to everybody else. Yes, Depression worthy? Make me feel like shit worthy? Make me want to quit and die worthy? I think so, but Hey, what's my opinion matter? What, my feelings matter now? What, I have a soul? I NEVER KNEW!

So to be happier. Uhm.. Soccer is so much fun.. I love it, and I'm glad I chose to do it. So far our record is 1-1-1. Not bad, I guess.. At least we don't have a losing record... =p I've also been playing some more interesting positions lately. At our last game I didn't play a single minute of Full-back. I played wing and midfield. Isn't that awesome? I'm happy with that. I love soccer and it's magical ability of being able to hurt my body physically beyond anything else I've felt but at the same time make me feel so great mentally.

So... about Marching band and choir? Well, the only things keeping me in Marching Band is the fact that I want to go to Disney for the first time ever and my best friends Dan Humphrey and Tom Koppert. My fellow bass drumers are what keep me in this stupid activity. One, Mr. Barone hates my friggin' guts and is mean to me beyond any possible reasoning. So I asked a dumb question, and then messed up once? Yeah, I don't see you freaking out when a person playing the flute does that. Diarhhea of the mouth? I'll show you diarhhea of the fucking face! Which includes much blood. Yes, indeed... I'm so sick of Mr. Barone and his stupid fucking lies. Did we ever have try-outs for our parts? NO! I got stuck with a bass drum, and Well... I didn't want it. The past two years I got stuck in Pit. Did I want that? NO! "We'll switch around" Yeah, fucking right. Yeah, but I have to pry the instruments from their hands first. Much clawing and bitching? Yes, there is. Stupid, fat, ugly, smelly, bitching.

Okay, so I'm done before I get tarred and feathered for all of the whining, complaining, bitching I just did. So crucify me. I'll die for my sins, they were worth every moment.