Shitty-ass weekend.

Well, I'd tell you about the wicked sweet weekend I had, but.. Yeah, I didn't have one. So if I would have said I did, I would have been lying my ass off. Let's recap a little:

I'll start with Thursday because I just feel like whining =), Thursday we had a really hard practice at track. By really hard I mean we did intervals like we've never done intervals before. Of course, that practice will be the hardest practice we have all season being that meets start uh, this coming week? But yes, the practice sucked. Especially for me, here; I'll tell you why. We had to run 1 400 but since I'm a 300hurdler I got to run a 300 with hurdles. Ask anybody in track and they'll agree... a 300 hurdle is 1000 times worse than just running a 400 or even an 800. After the 400 we had to run 2 300's. So I got to run 3. Then we ran 3 200's. Then we ran 4 100's. Oh, but that isn't all. We took a 10 minute break and did the whole thing again. We lucked out, if we ran our 400 (or in my case, 300) faster than we did it the first time, we could get out of a 300. Needless to say, we all killed ourselves (or at least I did) and ended up beating our time. Then I remember we got out of our other 300 somehow.. Something about the 200's we did earlier. Anyways, we didn't have to run those 2 300's... So we moved on and did our 3 200's, then our 4 100's. Oh, and it was cold. It's always cold during track season in Ohio. So yeah, cold and windy. We were at the track longer than the long distance runners. That is saying something (they have Don Baun, and he's a maniac). This was my Thursday...

Friday, we had practice at 9 in the morning. My favorite time of the day... TO SLEEP!!!!! So yes, getting up at 9 to go run was not what I had in mind for my day of school off. It wasn't that bad.. but well, if I remember clearly.. It might just be an "in comparison" thing. In comparison to what we did on Thursday, of course Friday was easy. Or maybe I was still asleep and had no clue what I was doing. We ran 3 200's, and then worked on events. Lifted (Yes, I actually lifted Friday.. I don't know what came over me, but I did-maybe the fact that none of my friends were in the weight room with me to talk to...), and then did abs. Then I went home and played dead in bed for a while. Then got on the computer and wasted a few more hours. I was gonna go help Charlie paint, but man was I tired (pronounced TAHRED) so instead I sat on my fat ass. Then I went to Mansfield later with Charlie and Matt (I'm sorry I suck at driving, and talking, and making stuff fun..) Then I worked 8-1:30. It was about the most non-fun thing I've done in my life. Oh, wait.. Saturday is so much better!

Saturday, I WORKED ALL DAY. I kinda slept in so I was late for my first shift (yes, I said first.. insinuating that there is more than 1) so I came in at 11:15 and worked until 3 (I was supposed to get off at 2:30, but ef that shit I guess... lol). Then I, not even kidding, sat in a booth until 4. At 4 I got to work again, 4-1:30. So yeah. I mean, I know I shouldn't complain because I'm the one that volunteered to take those hours. Money is money, I guess. But still, wow.. I worked all day Saturday. It wasn't that bad, my feet really hurt by the end, but.. other than that. It was with Vicky, and I got to work with Jordan. So that made it better. *sigh*, I coulda been having sooo much fun!! (lol, yeah.. whatever..)

Sunday, Well.. That's today. All I've done today is work, 11:30-4. It was supposed to be 11:30-2:30.. but I'm apparently a workaholic and offered to stay until 4. Like I said, money is money, and I had nothing better planned for today. So now I'm just chilling out on the computer because when I'm at home, and I'm not studying, and my dad isn't on the computer... I'm on the computer. I'd tell you that even though my weekend sucked, things'll just get better... but they won't. By looking at next week's work schedule.. looks like I'll be having just as much fun.. lol

I wanna go shopping, by myself... with a lot of money... I wanna I wanna I wanna! Anyways, I don't have any more bitching to do.. I think I got it all out. I just had to let you all know how much I crave shopping right now. My mom told me she was gonna give me money to go shop, and now.. Now I have my hopes up, so yeah.. *sigh* I give up, I'm gonna go I dunna.. sleep or something..

Cantankerous?

I am:

com·pla·cent:
adj.
1. Contented to a fault; self-satisfied and unconcerned: He had become complacent after years of success.
2. Eager to please; complaisant.

can·tan·ker·ous:
adj.
1. Ill-tempered and quarrelsome; disagreeable: disliked her cantankerous landlord.
2. Difficult to handle: “had to use liquid helium, which is supercold, costly and cantankerous” (Boston Globe).



I'm both of those, but not really at the same time, that'd be hard to do right? So I see it as... I'm cantankerous for the most part, then I'll give up being such a BITCH (for a while) and become complacent. Then again, I don't really believe I'm ever complacent per se. Just, I stop being so quarrelsome (as the definition put it) and I just appear to be complacent. Maybe that's it. Whichever way you look at it, they're both extremes and only siths deal with extremes. So that makes me Uhm.. like Darth Vader? Or something? I dunna, he's pretty sweet so I can deal with that.

Anyways, I don't really have much else to write about. I was just thinking and I wanted to put some more definitions in my blog, educate some people (myself being one of them-of course this isn't to say that I didn't know what the above words meant, I knew those ones, but I looked up some other words while I was at dictionary.com, a good site) Rather than spending my time working on school work such as reading any of the stuff I should... =\, I'm trying, really I am. I want to read and be smart and stuff... but.. It's just sooooooooo hard!!! Being smart is HARD and that's just too much for me to deal with right now! lol, I'm just so busy working at a fast food place to get smart.. (ahahahahahaha) I hope I'm not the only one that reads the above and laughs a little. I mean, I truly hope people get what I'm trying to say with the whole... Fast food joint thing, but I wanna be smart... Yeah.. Okay.... I'm done, time to go paint my walls red...

Jealous

jeal·ous
adj.
1. Fearful or wary of being supplanted; apprehensive of losing affection or position.
2. a.Resentful or bitter in rivalry; envious: jealous of the success of others.
b. Inclined to suspect rivalry.
3. Having to do with or arising from feelings of envy, apprehension, or bitterness: jealous thoughts.
4. Vigilant in guarding something: We are jealous of our good name.
5. Intolerant of disloyalty or infidelity; autocratic: a jealous God.

Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner: Fall Out Boy

"Drink down your Gin and Kerosene,
And come spit off bridges with me,
Just to keep us warm.
Light a match to leave me be.
Light a match to leave me..

I keep my jealousy close 'cause,
It's all mine.
And if you say this makes you happy,
Then I'm not the only one lying.

[Chorus: x2]
Keep quiet,
Nothing comes as easy as you.
Can I lay in your bed all day?
I'll be your best kept secret
And your biggest mistake.
The hand behind this pen relives a failure every day.

I keep my jealousy close 'cause,
It's all mine.
And if you say this makes you happy,
Then I'm not the only one lying.

Drink down your Gin and Kerosene,
And come spit off bridges with me,
Just to keep us warm.
Light a match to leave me be.
Light a match to leave me.

[Chorus x2]

So wear me like a locket around your throat.
I'll weigh you down.
I'll watch you choke.
You look so good in blue.
You look so good in blue.
[x3]
[chorus x3]"


I think this is 'nuff said to get my point across, right? Oh, and That picture up there? That isn't my car exactly, but that was what my car looked like. My baby. I Suck at life.

Make Girls Happy.

28 ways to make a girl smile....

1. Tell her she is BEAUTIFUL

2. Hold her hand at any moment even if its just
for a second.

3. HUG HER FROM BEHIND!!!!!

4. Leave her voice messages to wake up to.

5. Wrestle with her :)

6. don't go hang out with you ex when shes not
with you, you might not relize how badly it hurts her.

7. If youre talking to another girl, when you're done talking, walk over and hug her and kiss her....let her know she's yours and they aren't.

8. Write her notes or call her just to say "hi"

9. Introduce her to your friends . . . as your girlfriend.

10. Play with her hair.

11. Pick her up (she loves it)

12. Get upset if another guy touches her and she
doesn't like it

13. Make her laugh

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms.

15. If she's mad at you, kiss her.

16. If you care about her, then TELL HER

17. Every guy should give their girl 3 things:
a stuffed animal
(she'll hug it every time she goes to sleep),
jewelry
(she'll treasure it forever),
and one of his t-shirts
(she'll most likely wear it to bed)
or sweatshirts sprayed with
his cologne!!
and flowers or something occasionally.

18. Treat her the same around your friends as you
do when you're alone.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile.

20. Hang out with her on weekends

21.Kiss her in the rain (girls love this) (romanticallyful!!!!)

22.Kiss her just for the heck of it

23. If your listening to music, let her listen too. =)

24. Remember her birthday and get her something,
even if its simple and inexpensive, it came from YOU. it
means ALL the world to her.


25. when she gives you a present on your
birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her
you love it, even if you don't (it'll make her happy.)

26. Always call her when you say you will, it may
not seem like it, but it does hurt her and makes her think
you don't care so call even if you can only talk for a minute.
Girls don't necessarily have to have hour long
conversations every night but its nice for us to hear your voice
even for a quick hello.


27. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the
most.

28.If u care about her...SHOW her!


Boys, I'm telling you. If you did at least 10 of these things you guys wouldn't suck so bad.

In the mood.

Okay, so I had this whole thing written about my cognitive dissonance going on, but I deleted it. I'd rather BITCH. So I'm gonna make another list on things that I say "Fuck-it" to. =D

Fuck:

• Guys, they suck.
• Government class, I'm not gonna study so HAH!
• French, I don't feel like watching movies so I'll sleep instead!
• Lit&Drama, I did my project we've known about for the past "month" the day we started to present it.
• English11C, Henry David Thoreau is INSANE!!!
• Bitches, they can go to hell. They piss me off.
• Whores, because they gotta just go sleeping around and ruining relationships for my friends and making them sad.
• Guys that sleep with the whores. I know I already listed that guys suck, but not all guys are that bad. The ones that sleep with whores are, though. They can fall off the world about now.
• Track, I'm outta shape, and I don't give a fuck.
  
• All of the girls that quit track because it was Sooooo hard. Shut your face, OMG, it isn't that bad. I know I complain about it a lot.. but that's what track is about, complaining.. lol. Just ask any of the girls still in it. I don't mind the complaining, but the quitting..
• Life, fuck it. I hate life..
• You. Yes, you, and because you'll probably take this all seriously and get all mad and shit because I complain about my life.
• Deer, I'm going deer huntin' ASAP. I'ma gonna shoot me some deer (pronounced: "Dur")
• Me, because I'm lonely. HAHA, just kidding.. No, actually not quite. But I suppose I'm not speaking to the general public.. Maybe to a few good lookin' guys out there, you know who you are (winks)
• Bad music, OMG.. Country and Rap needs to be made illegal, because it causes me bodily harm in the form of bleeding ears.
• People who don't call you back, or call when they say they will. Mostly guys.. Yeah.. Fuckers..
• Insurance companies, gosh.. Why does it have to be so hard?
• Rain.. lol..
• Insecurity, you know what? I don't even care any more if I'm ugly or not. Who cares? Whatever. If anything I'll just lower my standards or just give up on love altogether..
• Love, I give up. How am I supposed to know when I'm in love? Who am I to judge what true love is? Why should I love when I'm not even loved back?
• 500dollar deductible fees for getting my car fixed. That is of course if it isn't totaled. IF it's totaled then fuck getting my car totaled.. lol

Okay, I'm done. This post took me for-friggin'-ever because I kept stopping and doing stuff.. Like eating, and talking on the phone (real mood booster, let me tell you!)

Salut, Friends.

Tattoo.

So this is the tattoo I'm gonna get, or something like it. I'll let the guy who does it add some nice special touches, you know, so noone else will have it. It might be a while, though. Apparently I have to pay 500dollars deductible to get my car fixed. Of course this is if it isn't fucking totaled. Yeah, Life hates me..

Deer need to bloody die.

Okay, so I'm going to work.. Looking forward to eating some jr. bacon cheeseburgers.. When I see a fucking deer. So I slam on my brakes because I hate deer and am afraid of them.. I know you're supposed to just hit them, but it was just how I reacted... And then I started to skid... (YAY!!) and I go to correct myself, and then start skidding the other way. So I go to correct that, but overcorrect and end up spinning out. Right into a mother fucking 4-foot deep ditch. My car isn't so happy with me. I apparently "dropped my axle" or something, and my right rear tire was bent off. I'm gonna cry for a week if it's totaled. I hate driving, and I hate life. Gosh AND DEER! Yes, I'm okay. I know I should be glad I'm okay. But how can I not be pissed? Anyways I ended up going to the E-room to make sure everything was okay because my neck was pretty sore.. That was so much fun, because even though it's supposed to be an emergency room, it takes about 2 hours to get any help.. lol. So yeah, I was waiting for a while. Turns out I just had a muscle spasm in my neck. I got some muscle relaxer (and a subscription) and some advice.. Yay. Now I'm here, worrying about my car.. Oh joy. I'd write more, and into detail.. But I'm just way too damn pissed, I love my car.. and if it's totaled I will bawl..

Thinking...

So I've been thinking. What happens if I really do fail at life? What happens when I just fail? I contemplate this very idea every day in Government. I mean, the class isn't that bad. I have a 93. If you ask people, that's pretty good. Especially since I have other things to do, like Track, Work, and Good looking guys. But seriously, I'm not truly a hard working person. I've just been fortunate, by this I mean that I've been blessed with this ability to excel in stuff. But not too far ahead, just towards the top (for Loudonville anyways) When I get to college, and medical school (if I make it that far) I'm going to be so far behind. Exhibit A on why I know Loudonville isn't a very good place to find out truly how much you are worth:

Today, In track. We had to "sprint" 3 100's, 3 200's, 2 300's, and then 3 more 200's, and 3 more 100's with 100/200 meter jogs after each "sprint" there was to be no walking (hah). It was an EASY workout. All of the sprinters just kinda went at once (boys and girls at the same time). I finished 3rd just after Corey Lemke and Stevie Allerding who were what, 10 meters ahead of me? But when I'll get to my first track meet on March 28th, I'm not going to do well. The other schools are gonna kick my butt, because Loudonville just sucks at everything.

Anyways, Thinking on these ideas just make me wonder how I'm going to end up. I'm not truly that smart, I don't know much. I haven't read many books, I'd rather spend my time on the computer talking to people via "AIM". Or read my many blogs that I'm addicted to. Oh, the love of blogs. I could have a 95 or above in Gov't right now. I just don't study as much as I should. We have a test on Thursday, and instead of writing this blog.. I should be studying hardcore. Do you think I could identify the 11 modern presidents and the 8 Ohioan (or whatever) presidents? If you thought "No" then you are correct. I don't think I even have their names memorized yet. I will, maybe tomorrow. But not tonight. That isn't even 1/4th of the test, kids. I don't try hard at anything. I coulda ran harder today, but do you think I did? My abs hurt, but do you think I tried my hardest during the 6-minute abs? Uh, NO!

I'm destined to fail. I've decided. Unless I clean up my act and instead of read blogs, do my current event (That I stopped in the middle of because I have absolutely no focus). Clearly I suck at life. Tell me, how am I supposed to make it in life when I can't even stay focused on an easy 50 point current event? I know that gov't is an important class at Loudonville, pretty much the hardest one, and yet I still fall asleep when we watch videos in class?

On another note, although School and Track really have my spirits low... I still have so much to look forward to this school year. Spring Break=Disney, then Prom on May6th, and a Fall Out Boy concert May7th. I'm so pumped, and it's a few months away... Not to mention all of the weekends I'll try to spend hanging out with friends (when I don't work). So much to look forward to, but it is so far away. How am I going to make it?

So now, what I really just need is a hug. Maybe a person that will listen to me say that I suck at everything, and tell me that I don't. Is that too much to ask for? Maybe, but I don't know. I suppose I'll sleep it off and forget about it until tomorrow during Gov't again when I'm doing my "EVAC" and sweet stuff like that.

Will I ever do something right?

Boys

Here, a list of why I hate boys:

• They make me feel stupid
• They are jerks
• They don't tell you what they're thinking
• They are so stupid
• They judge you
• They're superficial
  
• How about calling when they say they will?
• How about remembering your birthday?
• They only do stuff for you when it benefits them (when they get some)
• There is always a flaw (i.e. If they're good looking they are either really dumb, or a really big jerk. If they are really nice they must be really busy or really ugly. If they are good looking, really nice, and smart, they don't like you at all because you aren't really pretty really nice or really smart as well. Or they're just taken if you like them a lot)
• They cause depression.
• There are way too many of them.
• What is with the Y chromosome? It's about 1/8th the size of the X chromosome. I wish it'd just disappear.
• They're only in it for the sex, period.
• When they say they're not that kind of guy, THEY ARE THAT KIND OF GUY!
• They pay for your movie, and meal and stuff. But then they use it against you by saying shit like, "I spent all of that money on you and you aren't going to have sex(insert whatever you want here, they might want you to give them a bj or something) with me?"
• They don't know anything about girls, at all. So they don't know what do when the girl is unhappy. Here, I will tell you.. Don't keep asking them, "What's the matter?" if you aren't planning on doing anything about it. Instead of asking what is the matter, rub their shoulders or something. JESUS. Don't you know ANYTHING?
  
• Dude, having a period that lasts a week every single month, and having to have the baby is infinitely worse than getting kicked in the balls. I don't care what boys say about it hurting. I'll show you pain when you are writhing in agony for a whole week once a month. It's worse because you know when it's coming.
  
• Boys have it easy, and I hate that!
  
• Did I mention that boys have a keen knack of making me feel like a fool?
• Boys have dicks, and they use these to JERKOFF.
• Uhm, they're only interested in boobs, and a pretty face.
• If males had to have the babies, abortion wouldn't be an issue. It'd just be a social norm to get one by now.
• They get to pee standing up. So they miss the 1 foot hole, and get it all over the toilette seat (Because they are lazy bastards they didn't lift it). So when I go to pee sitting down because I don't have a penis, I have pee all over my ass.
• They like to talk about your butt when you are what, 2 feet away?
• Girls have to have the kids, so you can bloody ask me to prom, or out on a date, or ask me to "go out". It isn't that hard on you, jeeminees. Boys just have to complain about something.
  

Okay, now. A list on why I do like boys...:

• Sometimes they actually get things right.
• There are exceptions to the above list, so that gives me hope.
• I can't help but like boys. I just don't like girls like that.
• They buy me chocolate, and I really like chocolate.
• They can be fun to look at.
• Sometimes they actually do cheer you up.
• Uhm, I guess this list is mostly when guys do things that aren't on the list above. So I like boys sometimes because sometimes they don't me dislike them.
  

Wow, writing the why I like them list is so much more boring than writing why I don't like them. Clearly I stopped just because I actually had to think for the second list.

Survey Says..

Well, I found this in Katherine's blog, and I just couldn't help it.

Given a hickey: No
Danced around in your underwear: But of course!
Gotten a hickey: Yeah, and my mom found it, and freaked out.
Gone to summer camp: Yeah, a week-long one.
Sang into your hairbrush: Nah, I just sing, no mic. involved.
Refused to listen to a teacher: All the time.
Cried in public: I cry all of the time.
Made a perverted snowman: *sigh*, this question makes me sad.
Done the splits: Yup.
Picked flowers from other people's lawns: Nah
Walked around in your underwear: When noone else is home.
Been grounded: Oh, yeah. Horrible shit.
Tripped on your feet: All of the time, I'm a clumsy person.
Checked under your bed before going to sleep: Nah.
Played on a sports team: Loads.
Spent all day on the computer: Yeah, I felt like shit though.
Worn black nail polish: Nope.
Forgotten a birthday of someone important: Yeah.
Had a conversation with yourself: No?
Fallen asleep at school: Yeah, Only in hard classes, though. Like Gov't, and Bio2
Lied to a doctor: No?
Been to a slumber party: Come on, I'm a girl.
Had a pillow fight: Yeah.
Lied about your age: Yeah.
Made fun of someone to fit in: No, I make fun of people because I think they deserve it, or it's funny.
Stood up for someone who was being bullied: Yeah, my brother.
Heard people talking badly about you: All of the time, nobody likes me.
Been called fat: Yeah, but they were kidding.
Been called anorexic: I used to, but not really anymore. I think it might be because even though I'm skinny, they know I could kick their ass.
Fainted: No.
Went outside in underwear: Nah.
Worn an article of clothing without realizing the tag was still on: No.
Kicked someone 5 years younger than you: lol, Maybe my brother..
Cursed at a teacher: Yeah, but not to their face.
Cried in front of a teacher: Chyeah.
Cursed at a parent: Not to their face.
Done drugs: Maybe.
Licked somebody: lol, Yeah.
Called the police: lmfao, yeah.
Made a prank call: Yup.
Stolen something from a store: Yup.
Said a racist comment and meant it: You're asking a half-oriental girl this.
Made yourself throw up: Nope.
Thought you were going crazy: Fuck it, I am crazy.
Doubted your sexuality: No.
Lied to a teacher: Yes
Wished you were dead: Yes
Tried to kill yourself: No, but I thought about it.
Given the finger to a complete stranger: Yeah, someone that pissed me off while driving.
Been to a concert: The Killers concert rocked my mf'ing socks off.
Went to school in pajamas: Yeah.
Hurt an animal on purpose: Bugs..
Broken something that was special to someone else because you were mad: Not on purpose.
Cheated on a test: Yeah.
Copied off of someone else's homework: Did it today, actually.
Sworn at a little kid: My little brother.
Driven while you were drunk: No.
Been in a car accident: Not any that I caused.
Spit in someone's food: lol, Yeah.
Ran away from home: Yes
Skinny-dipped: No.
Held a real gun: How else would I hunt, silly?
Wished someone would die: Me?
Been beaten up: No, but I wanna beat someone else up.
Beat someone else up: It's on my list of things to do.. and by golly, I will.
Wished someone would be raped: NO, Never ever ever. Unless it were a guy. I'm all for women rights, and how men shouldn't do shit like that.
Wondered what the world has come to: Every day
Had a crush on a teacher: Mr. Schlabaugh, and Mr. Beun (golly they were cute)
Ate so much you got sick: Hecks yes.
Hurt yourself on purpose: Yes.
Thrown a glass object so that it broke: Yes.
Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend: Went on a date. If that's cheating to you..
Kissed someone you hardly knew: Yeah.
Smoked a cigarette: Ew, no.
Broken a bone: No, and I hope I never do.
Bitten someone: Yeah.
Worn a mini skirt: Yeah, and it was way too short, I felt so dumb all day.
Made out with someone of the same sex: Never.
Eaten dog/cat food: I've had a milkbone.
Stuck gum under a table: Nah.
Written on a desk at school: Yep
Chewed a pencil: No, just gum.
Spit on someone: Yeah
Been spit on: Yeah
Driven over your lawn: Can't.. lol
Told your crush you liked them: Oh, yeah.
Skipped class: Yeah, Choir.. and then he found out.. teehee.
Written on a cubicle in a public bathroom: Probably.
Stayed up all night: Favorite pasttime.
Eaten a bag of cookies in a day: I'm a pig.
Been kicked out of a store: Workin' on it.
Put dog/cat food in someone's food: Not that I know of.
Refused to pay someone back after you promised you would: No
Read someone else's diary: No.
Sworn at an animal: Yeah.
Tripped in public: Of course, it's the only way to do it.
Walked into a pole: Yeah.
Walked into a parked car: Yeah.
Found someone much older than you very attractive: Yeah.
Stapled your finger: No.
Laughed at someone who was seriously hurt: lol, Yeah.
Found a bug in your cereal: Yeah.
Been so lazy you wouldn't get up to go to the bathroom: Yeah, even though it is horrible for me.
Fell off the bed: Not as of yet.
Peed your pants at school: Yeah, in 1st grade.. She wouldn't let me go to the bathroom, so I just went right there to piss her off.
Almost drowned: I wish.
Had a black eye: Never.
Went rollerblading and crashed into a bush: Nope.
Made fun of someone because they were fat: lol, Yeah.
Snuck out of the house: Nah, I just leave.
Dyed your hair: Yeah, bad idea.. every single time.
Cut your own hair: Just here and there.
Been stung by a bee/wasp: Yeah, it wasn't too bad.
Climbed on a roof: Yep
Worn gothic make-up: Nah.
Had a contact break in your eye: Thank goodness, no.
Had food poisoning: Yeah, I wanted to die.. lol.
Had heat-stroke: I don't think so.
Bought an article of clothing and never wore it: I've had articles of clothing bought for me that I've never worn, but I don't buy clothing that I don't intend to wear.
Cut yourself on a blade: Chyeah.
Fallen on glass: Chyeah.
Worn an article of clothing that was lime green: I love lime green.
Eaten a bug: Yeah.
Eaten something that fell on the ground: All of the time.
Been to a shrink: No, but I should.
Had surgery: no
Needed braces: Yeah, and they're gone, YAY
Worn a bikini: I love my bikini.
Failed a test: Nah.
Failed a class: Not even close.
Been teacher's pet: Teachers hate me because I talk back.
Been teacher's least favorite student: Yeah, because I talk back and correct them.
Slow danced: Yeah.
Been afraid of the dark: I'm not afraid of the dark, just sometimes what might be in the dark. But not in my own house. I mean in alleys or something like that.
Seriously thought of hurting someone else: Yeah.
Had a cavity: Yes.
Been in love: Yes.
Played truth or dare: You betcha.
Walked in on your parents when... yeah....: No...
Slept in the nude: No, my mom likes to come into my room in the mornings to wake me up.
Watched the movie Glitter: No.
Flashed someone: lol, Yeah. A whole carfull of us cross country girls flashed Sam Koppert, and he wasn't even looking.
Been kissed: Yeah.
Kissed someone else: Yeah.
Sung along to a foreign language song: Choir, chello.
Played in the rain: I love the rain, in track we go puddle jumping.
Went on a road trip with friends: Maybe someday.

Stalker (not really, he's just really creepy)

Okay, I have a stalker (not really, he's just really creepy). So there is this kid at our school, he uhm.. likes to fill out these Astrology charts to find out stuff about people and relationships. Well apparently when doing mine, he found I was a really strong person. One of the strongest he has ever seen. Oh, and he also noticed that we had similar interests. Well, when he went around asking if anybody wanted a couple analysis determined by astrology, I hopped right on it for Jimmy and I. Turns out Jim and I make an average couple, with equal good and bad things. THEN, get this. Tim goes out of his way to make one of Him and I. Because he thought I was just a really interesting person. According to his astrology charts we'd make reeeally great friends, and we should hang out sometime. Needless to say, I didn't know what to say. I don't really consider myself a mean person to people who don't really deserve it, so I said, "Uhm, sure if I have time.." Because I couldn't just say, "No, you scare me. Astrology is silly.." When that's really what I was thinking. Anyways, hopefully he doesn't ever actually ask me to hang out with him sometime, because I just don't know if I could.. lol. Dear lord, help me out here. I know I'm friggin' hot, and all the guys want me.. But come on, give me a break. (lol, I almost fell off my chair)

I know this isn't really stalking, but.. It's just, weird.. He filled out our astrology compatibility chart. That's just creepy. Now I'm not saying this kid is a bad kid, I'm just saying.. If you're fillin' out my astrology chart and comparin' it to yours just because you think I'm a cool character.. That's kinda creepy. Needless to say, Charity immediately tried to get Charlie to write my phonenumber on Tim's sheet of paper. Uh, I woulda killed someone. lol. Anyways, yeah. It's always just one problem after another.

I'm such a moron.

Okay, as my title says. "I'm such a moron" Yeah... *sigh* Here's the deal, I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years recently. It was a tough decision, but I ended up deciding it must be done. I just didn't feel into it anymore, and Yes, well.. I was liking someone else. If you haven't heard yet, I totally cheated on my boyfriend. Because I liked this other guy. Of course by cheated I mean, I went to Mansfield with the guy to buy Fall Out Boy tickets and we watched The Pink Panther. OH NO!! I'M SOOOOO BAD! We were originally just going to get the tickets, but going all the way to Mansfield to just buy tickets was pointless, so we decided to go see a movie as well. So call me a horrible person. We also went to eat at Arby's, but we were hungry. Again, call me a horrible person. At least I didn't sleep with the guy, or even kiss or anything. Heck, I didn't even make out with him hours after the breakup *AHEM*

Anyways, on to why I'm a moron.. Well, I just wish I knew what people were thinking. I'm such a horrible person, and apparently a lot of people don't like me because I can be a huge bitch. I really try not to be one, but things just annoy me regularly. Things like stupid people. And man, are there a lot of those. Anyways, on to how I wish I knew what people were thinking. What am I supposed to do? No one ever tells me what they're thinking. So even though I know people think I'm a bitch, I continute to act like one. Moron? YES I AM!

Second point on why I'm a moron, I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years to move into something else in which I don't even know what is going on. The kid goes to Clear Fork, I don't know if he even likes me, and I don't know why he would. I just feel every thing I do is just stupid. Maybe it's because I don't wanna screw it all up and look like a fool? But I already feel like one with every move I make. *sigh*, and now I'm posting this for the whole internet population to read (even though about 2 people actually read this). And I don't even care, because I just wanna know what to do. SO if you are reading this and YOU know... Then tell me.

Other reasons why I feel like a moron.... Hm, well.. I've really been slacking off in everything. Even Government. I barely studied for the last test, and my grades are getting lower. I'm not doing homework until the last minute, and I'm just not caring. I'm not studying, I'm not paying attention, I'm not anything. I just suck. Period. I know this whole blog is just a whine-fest. I'm not really trying to get your sympathy, I'm just. I don't know.. Trying to find out what to do. Maybe searching for some self-esteem, uhm. Some self-confidence? Right now, I have neither.

I suppose what it all comes down to is the fact that I don't wanna screw up. And mess up all aspects of my life within a month. I'm just a loser..